Your helper and your language: a safer home

In Singapore, Hong Kong or Dubai, your helper may spend more waking hours with your children than you do. If the two of you can't talk easily, everybody in the house is working with one hand tied behind their back.

The short version

Safety comes first: your helper needs to be able to call for help, describe symptoms, read a medicine label and take a message from school, and you need to understand her when she does.
Language is about the kids too: knowing what happened today, using the same words for the same rules, and agreeing which language she speaks with them.
Trust runs both ways: she should be able to raise a problem and understand her own contract. Governments publish rights information in helpers' own languages, and it's worth pointing her to it [4][7].
Offer lessons fairly: as a paid benefit, in working hours or time she freely agrees to, never an unpaid condition of the job. She chooses the language.
Learn some of hers: a few words of Tagalog, Bahasa Indonesia or Burmese tell her you see her as a person, not a pair of hands.

First, a word on respect

Your helper is an employee with legal rights, and very often a second parent figure to your children. Nothing in this guide is about controlling her or testing her. It's about a household where two adults can understand each other properly, which makes life safer and calmer for everyone, including her.

Most helpers in these cities speak good English already, many speak three languages, and your Cantonese probably isn't keeping anyone awake at night. Shared language is a two-way street.

Safety: the conversations that can't go wrong

These are the moments where a misunderstanding matters:

Situation	What she needs to be able to do	What you can do
A medical emergency	Call the emergency number, give your address, describe what happened	Stick the numbers and your full address by the phone, in English and her language
Allergies and medicines	Read labels, know doses, spot a reaction	Write a one-page sheet per child: allergies, medicines, doses, the GP's number
A child unwell	Describe symptoms: temperature, rash, breathing, how long	Agree words for common symptoms, and ask her to send a photo or call if unsure
School pick-ups	Know who is allowed to collect, and what to do if nobody comes	Give the school her name and photo, and give her a written list
Messages from teachers	Understand a note, an app message or a call	Ask her to forward anything she isn't sure about, rather than guess

The emergency numbers are worth learning together on day one: 999 in Hong Kong; 995 for an ambulance and 999 for the police in Singapore; 998 for an ambulance and 999 for the police in the UAE [10]. Practise saying your address out loud. It sounds daft until the day it isn't.

The children: knowing what they did and said

Little ones tell the person who was there. If your helper can tell you that your four-year-old bumped her head at the playground, wouldn't eat lunch and said something worrying about another child, you know your child's day. If she can't, you're guessing.

Consistent words matter. Agree the household words for the important things: bedtime, screen time, "no", the names of body parts, what counts as dangerous. Children test the gaps between adults; shared words close them.

Which language should she speak with the children? There's no single right answer:

Her own language gives your children a free extra language, and she'll be more natural, warm and expressive in it. Plenty of British children in Hong Kong grow up with very handy Tagalog.
English helps if your children are behind in English or need to settle into an English-medium school.
Your family language, if it's not English, keeps that language alive for the children.

Planned mixing is fine. "English at meals and homework, her language at play" is a perfectly good system. What confuses children is chaos, not two languages. If your children are also meeting a school language such as Mandarin or Mother Tongue, our guide to languages and your family in Singapore explains how that works.

Trust both ways

A shared language is what lets your helper tell you that something is wrong: the work is too much, she's unwell, she's worried about a family member at home, or she's unhappy with how something was handled. Helpers often find it hard to raise problems with an employer, and harder still in a second language.

She should also understand her own contract and rights. Each government publishes the rules:

Singapore: the Ministry of Manpower requires first-time helpers to attend a one-day Settling-in Programme, "conducted in the MDW's native language", covering employment conditions, working safely and managing stress. The employer pays, at between SGD 76.40 and SGD 92.65 (about £44 to £54) depending on the provider [2]. First-time helpers also need at least eight years of formal education [1].
Hong Kong: the Labour Department's foreign domestic helpers portal comes in 14 languages, including Tagalog, Bahasa Indonesia, Thai and Myanmar, and has a dedicated helper hotline, 2157 9537 [4]. Statutory holidays can't be swapped for cash [5]. Our guide to hiring a domestic helper in Hong Kong covers the contract.
UAE: domestic workers are entitled to one paid rest day a week, 12 hours' rest a day including 8 consecutive hours, 30 days' paid annual leave, and to keep their own passport and ID; the contract follows the MoHRE standard form, and disputes go to MoHRE [6]. The law behind it, Federal Decree-Law No. 9 of 2022, says Arabic texts are to be accompanied by a language a non-Arabic-speaking worker understands, and recruitment agencies must make sure workers know their rights [7].

Pound conversions use the Bank of England spot rate of 5 November 2026 (£1 = SGD 1.7214).

Offering lessons: the fair way

If you'd like your helper to improve her English (or your family's language), the way you offer it matters as much as the lessons.

Make it a benefit, not a condition. Pay for the course, and fit it into working hours or time she genuinely agrees to. Never make lessons an unpaid requirement of the job.
Her rest day is hers. Many NGO classes run on Sundays. The Ministry of Manpower suggests courses as a way to spend a rest day "meaningfully" [3], and that's fine if it's her choice. It's not yours to fill.
Let her choose. She may prefer English, which travels with her to her next job, rather than your family language. She may want something else entirely, such as computer skills or money management.
Ask what she wants. The Ministry of Manpower suggests talking to your helper about her learning interests [3].
Certificates help her career. A course certificate is something she can show future employers, and it's hers to keep.
Don't turn every chat into a lesson. Nobody wants to be corrected over the washing-up.

Her language too

Learning a few words of her language is a small thing that lands well. Try these:

English	Tagalog	Bahasa Indonesia	Burmese (rough)
Hello / good morning	Magandang umaga	Selamat pagi	Mingalaba
Thank you	Salamat (po)	Terima kasih	Kyay zu tin ba deh
How are you?	Kumusta ka?	Apa kabar?	Ne kaung la?
You're welcome	Walang anuman	Sama-sama	—
Take care	Ingat	Hati-hati	—

"Po" in Tagalog adds respect, and your helper may well be delighted, or politely amused, that you tried.

Where to find classes

Singapore: the Ministry of Manpower points employers to NGO courses, including beginner English and Mandarin classes from ACMI and free and paid courses from Aidha [3]. Aidha's Improve Your English course runs over six months, 12 sessions of three hours every other Sunday, listed at SGD 150 or SGD 200 (about £87 to £116), with a handbook and certificate but no official qualification; the next intakes start on 22 November 2026 and 10 January 2027 [8].
Hong Kong: HELP for Domestic Workers offers education on rights and responsibilities and counselling for helpers, and acts as a resource for employers wanting guidance [9]. The Labour Department portal is the official starting point for rights information [4].
Dubai: we couldn't verify specific community language classes for domestic workers. Her own embassy or consulate is the best first call, and the u.ae and MoHRE pages set out her rights [6].
Apps and live online lessons: apps are good for vocabulary and confidence. Live online lessons, one to one or in a small group, fit around a working week, and a few minutes a day adds up.

If you're new to employing anyone at home, our guide to the emotional move is a reminder that the whole household is adjusting, not just you.

If you'd rather learn with a live teacher online, our language partner is below.

Your helper and your language: why shared words make a safer, happier home